Wednesday, April 20, 2011
{ 6:37 AM }
dear me ,
hey , i know what it feels like .
i am you remember ? i know those shit you went through .
i know what every single tear drop represents or infact whom is it for .
i know it felt like ouch .
but dont worry . i know youve been trying .
i know . i can see .
you'll get through the pain . maybe not now . not yet . but i promise you its soon
have you ever get caught up in situation when yknow you have to move on ,
but . you're afraid that when you did ,
he might just come back or you'll miss the opportunity of having him back .
eventhough you know there's not a slightest chance .
im in that situation now .
have been and still am .
hi . to any of you related to amri and fadhli and reading this .
hah , obviously if you read this then you are related .
read this good .
im no bitch okay . ohwait . let me rephrase .
maybe i am a bitch . but i dont go stealing your precious guys okay .
not planning to .
i admit . maybe ive always been smsing them .
hey dyou want to check my contacts ?
i can assure you that there's only sinansari girl's , deenah's , fadh's , amri's contacts .
so if you dont know me , im the type of girl or would people rather call slut .
who loves to mix around with guys more .
soyeahthen . thats why i kept smsing them .
walaupun i know they malas nak layan . i know .
but dont worry okay .
everything i smsed are nothing personal . unless it is to them .
maybe i am still hoping for fadhli back again .
but i dont go ruining people's happiness .
i really dont . thats not me . i really know where i stand .
thats why now . im trying not to sms them at all .
its hard . it sucked . but its for the best .
cos i would rather being the only one hurting,
rather than a chain reaction of people being upset .
okay . maybe youre thinking :
"bile kau dengan fadh , kau nak amri balik .
bile amri taknak kau . fadh dah tinggalkan kau ,
baru nak merayu kat fadh ? -.-"
hi . are you thinking like that ?
ohyes . maybe some of you would . even myself think that you would .
here . let me clear it out for you .
ohwait . old blog deleted . pfsht . kay .
here i tell you . i dont understand why you people still think i want amri back .
on 22nd june 2010 ,
i realised . being amri's friend is way much better than being his girlf .
double confirm ! try . then you'll know .
during my time with amri , i was proud cos he was mine .
dont get me wrong . i was proud when fadh's mine too .
but when i was fadh , there was a time when i was still proud of amri .
yknow when someone's your ex , they would be sarcastic about your current relationship .
or ignore you at all .
but amri hamzah bin zahman didnt .
infact he was being sweet talking about me and fadh .
he's a nice awesome guy .
but no . he doesnt want to have anything to do with me anymore .
hi . as you all know . im still not over that guy .
girls . you should understand better .
guys . just read okay ?
no . im not desperate .
yes . all my posts in every accounts are meant for him .
dont you all know how it felt to be left ?
to be hated by someone you still loving and needing most ?
dont you all understand ?
newtown was once so close to me . maybe because of the guys i know there .
but . i got to know newtown from abang . then to diniy . then to fadh .
then to amri . then back to fadh again .
yes . me and fadh knew each other since back then .
but since fadh left for real this time .
it seems like everyone else . newtown is like a stranger to me now .
honestly , i lebih rapat to newtown then my own sch friends okay .
how sad . when you were once so close to someone ,
everyone seemed to know you .
when the person left ., it was asif you were invisible .
hmmm ... lumrah hidup .
korang . or sesiape .
i , dian atiqah , tak berniat nak lukakan hati sesiape .
tak berniat nak sakitkan hati sesiape . tak terfikir pun .
yknow , i wanted to move on but its hard . i dont know maaan .
maybe i already did but i just dont realise it ?
but the way im talking now , doesnt seem like it .
i dont know . all parts of me are numb . i dont even know how should i feel now .
i miss being able to talk or even pandang at any of the newtowners .
dulu , i see one , i'll smile .
but now . rasa takut . awkward . and this thought :
"siape ku nak gawul ngan dorang pun?"
everytime it happens . at home . in school . during studies . or even in facebook .
my insecurities are obvious now .
korang . just one favour i ask .
dont take fadh away from me :( please ?
i knew him since primary sch . had been quite close . he's like a bestf to me .
had a crush on him since then, thrice .
had him and lost him as both bestf and boyf .
so now that we are just friends . dont take him away please .
it happened once . and i cried so hard .
cos he was my bestf when he damned me from his life .
but he came back . as my boyf . and now he's gone again . i did cry .
till today , there's still tears for him .
he's like the only guy friend i cried for when i lost him . hais those times .
please korang :( ian dah takde tempat nak mengadu :(
please tell him i miss him .
thankyou for time .
